DIVORCE MEDIATION
Divorce mediation is a voluntary alternative to the traditional litigation process for spouses
who wish to settle their divorce outside of court, but are having trouble reaching an agreement on their own. It is a private and confidential process where you and your spouse sort through the unresolved legal issues of your divorce together with the help of a trained neutral mediator. The mediator is there to provide information, guide the discussion, and suggest ideas to help resolve conflict as the parties decide what is fair and reasonable for their unique situation. The goal is for the couple to reach a settlement agreement that is satisfactory to both parties.
*Many parties find that they are close enough to agreement that they are able to file an uncontested divorce without the added expense of mediation. Consider whether you have issues where you are "stuck" before you consult with me as a mediator, because once we have engaged in the mediation process I will not be able to file your uncontested divorce or consult with either of you as an attorney.
who wish to settle their divorce outside of court, but are having trouble reaching an agreement on their own. It is a private and confidential process where you and your spouse sort through the unresolved legal issues of your divorce together with the help of a trained neutral mediator. The mediator is there to provide information, guide the discussion, and suggest ideas to help resolve conflict as the parties decide what is fair and reasonable for their unique situation. The goal is for the couple to reach a settlement agreement that is satisfactory to both parties.
*Many parties find that they are close enough to agreement that they are able to file an uncontested divorce without the added expense of mediation. Consider whether you have issues where you are "stuck" before you consult with me as a mediator, because once we have engaged in the mediation process I will not be able to file your uncontested divorce or consult with either of you as an attorney.
Will I Still Need an Attorney? Yes. When I act as your neutral mediator, I will help you both understand the issues involved in your divorce, but I CANNOT GIVE SPECIFIC LEGAL ADVICE OR REPRESENT EITHER OF YOU AS AN ATTORNEY. It is recommended that each party consult with an attorney to advise you of your individual rights and review any final agreements before signing.
Once you have successfully completed mediation, you will need to follow up by filing an uncontested divorce. The spouse who will be filing as the Plaintiff will need to hire an attorney to prepare and file the divorce, incorporating the agreement your mediator has prepared. In almost all successful mediations, you will save a substantial amount of money compared to paying two separate attorneys to represent you through the entire litigation process.
What Are the Advantages of Mediation?
* Confidential- Everything discussed in mediation is private and confidential and will never become part of any public records. Both spouses sign confidentiality agreements to help reassure them that no statements or offers made during the negotiation process can be used against them later in litigation. I destroy my notes at the end of the process and always require my mediation clients to sign statements agreeing not to subpoena me to testify in court at any time about anything that was discussed during the negotiation process.
* You Keep Control- You and your spouse will make all of the decisions and you control how fast or how slow we proceed. Since you are cooperating to design an agreement that works for both of you, you are both more likely to be satisfied with the outcome. There are no surprises and no worrying and waiting for a court's decision. You and your spouse maintain control of the entire process under the guidance of an informed neutral mediator.
* Promotes a Better Post-Divorce Relationship- Since you and your spouse work together to reach an agreement that you can both support, you are less likely to experience the level of conflict and hostility that is often associated with the traditional litigation process. The cooperation, communication, and conflict resolution skills that are encouraged in mediation can significantly increase your chances of being able to treat each other with courtesy and respect after the divorce. This is critical when children are involved.
* Saves Money- You can potentially save thousands of dollars on what you might pay to go through the litigation process, especially if your case would have ended up in a lengthy trial. (NOTE: You will save the maximum amount of money if you are able to agree to the terms of an uncontested divorce without mediation).
* Save Time- Because you are working from the same pool of information and focusing on resolution, you are likely to reach an
agreement much faster than with the traditional litigation process. Depending on the complexity of your situation and your mutual willingness to cooperate, you may even be able to finish the mediation process in a couple sessions.
* Less Stress- When you decide to mediate, you can avoid the stress that litigation causes your family. When you reach a settlement in mediation and follow up with an uncontested divorce, you and your spouse can avoid the stress of testifying in court. Most importantly, you have the opportunity to significantly reduce the stress that divorce brings to your children. Since we are working for a win-win solution, the overall amount and intensity of conflict may be greatly reduced, making an unavoidably painful experience easier for everyone to deal with.
Will Divorce Mediation Work for Me? That depends on you and your spouse, your commitment to the process, and how hard you are willing to work. Even if you are not able to reach an agreement on all the issues, you may reach an agreement on some issues and ask the Court to decide the rest for you. You still cut down significantly on the time that you spend in litigation and its associated costs.
Divorce mediation is not just for "friendly" couples and can work EVEN IF you and your spouse are angry at each other. I encourage all divorcing couples to at least try mediation before starting the formal litigation process. Since it is a completely voluntary process, either of you may withdraw at any time if it is not working for you.
Mediation may not be the right option for you if there is a history of abuse in the relationship where either party is not comfortable speaking up for themselves, or where there is significant concern either spouse is hiding assets or not being forthcoming about their financial situation. In these situations, it may be in your best interest to hire your own attorney to represent you during the entire divorce process to ensure your rights are protected.
Mediation may be an unnecessary step if you and your spouse are already in basic agreement on all the major issues and can proceed directly to an uncontested divorce. Also, remember that child support is usually determined by a formula and is generally not subject to negotiation. Therefore it may not be an economically prudent issue to mediate.
Some of the most common issues brought up in mediation are figuring out what to do with the house, how to divide retirement (or equalize with other assets), and alimony.
What Can I Expect? Once you and your spouse have made the decision to try mediation, I will send each of you a Mediation Intake Form to complete, as well as a copy of my Mediation Guidelines. You may choose to share information, but I will need each of you to complete your own form so I can compare notes and check for any discrepancies. If you email the form to me at least three business days before your scheduled appointment time, I will review your information before we meet to help make the most efficient use of your time spent in mediation.
Please remember that if you choose to hire me as a mediator, I work for both of you and must remain completely neutral. If you are interested in mediation and contact me individually, please refrain from discussing specific details of your case with me outside the presence of your spouse.
I charge an hourly rate for mediation and prefer to work in two-hour sessions. You will pay for each session as we go, paid at the beginning of the session. If either you or your spouse becomes dissatisfied with the process at any time, you can drop out with no additional money exchanges. l also charge a flat fee for time spent preparing your formal settlement agreement after you complete mediation.
Each session will require the participation and cooperation of both spouses. In addition to discussing any issues related to your children, if applicable, we will identify and value all property and debts (both individual and joint) acquired during the marriage and discuss how they will be allocated. This process occasionally requires bringing in the assistance of a third-party expert, depending on the complexity of your situation. We will also examine the post-separation budgets of each household and discuss the possibility of spousal support/alimony (if applicable).
Once we have determined the issues that need to be resolved, you will each be given an opportunity to discuss your concerns and preferences regarding each issue. Our goal will be to satisfy the priorities of each party and resolve all issues to your mutual satisfaction.
Once we have reached an agreement on all issues, I will draft your settlement agreement. You may consult your own attorney to review the agreement before you sign it, and I strongly encourage that you do so. Once the agreement is signed, one of you will take it to an attorney of your choice and ask that he/she incorporate your agreement into an uncontested divorce.
Once you have successfully completed mediation, you will need to follow up by filing an uncontested divorce. The spouse who will be filing as the Plaintiff will need to hire an attorney to prepare and file the divorce, incorporating the agreement your mediator has prepared. In almost all successful mediations, you will save a substantial amount of money compared to paying two separate attorneys to represent you through the entire litigation process.
What Are the Advantages of Mediation?
* Confidential- Everything discussed in mediation is private and confidential and will never become part of any public records. Both spouses sign confidentiality agreements to help reassure them that no statements or offers made during the negotiation process can be used against them later in litigation. I destroy my notes at the end of the process and always require my mediation clients to sign statements agreeing not to subpoena me to testify in court at any time about anything that was discussed during the negotiation process.
* You Keep Control- You and your spouse will make all of the decisions and you control how fast or how slow we proceed. Since you are cooperating to design an agreement that works for both of you, you are both more likely to be satisfied with the outcome. There are no surprises and no worrying and waiting for a court's decision. You and your spouse maintain control of the entire process under the guidance of an informed neutral mediator.
* Promotes a Better Post-Divorce Relationship- Since you and your spouse work together to reach an agreement that you can both support, you are less likely to experience the level of conflict and hostility that is often associated with the traditional litigation process. The cooperation, communication, and conflict resolution skills that are encouraged in mediation can significantly increase your chances of being able to treat each other with courtesy and respect after the divorce. This is critical when children are involved.
* Saves Money- You can potentially save thousands of dollars on what you might pay to go through the litigation process, especially if your case would have ended up in a lengthy trial. (NOTE: You will save the maximum amount of money if you are able to agree to the terms of an uncontested divorce without mediation).
* Save Time- Because you are working from the same pool of information and focusing on resolution, you are likely to reach an
agreement much faster than with the traditional litigation process. Depending on the complexity of your situation and your mutual willingness to cooperate, you may even be able to finish the mediation process in a couple sessions.
* Less Stress- When you decide to mediate, you can avoid the stress that litigation causes your family. When you reach a settlement in mediation and follow up with an uncontested divorce, you and your spouse can avoid the stress of testifying in court. Most importantly, you have the opportunity to significantly reduce the stress that divorce brings to your children. Since we are working for a win-win solution, the overall amount and intensity of conflict may be greatly reduced, making an unavoidably painful experience easier for everyone to deal with.
Will Divorce Mediation Work for Me? That depends on you and your spouse, your commitment to the process, and how hard you are willing to work. Even if you are not able to reach an agreement on all the issues, you may reach an agreement on some issues and ask the Court to decide the rest for you. You still cut down significantly on the time that you spend in litigation and its associated costs.
Divorce mediation is not just for "friendly" couples and can work EVEN IF you and your spouse are angry at each other. I encourage all divorcing couples to at least try mediation before starting the formal litigation process. Since it is a completely voluntary process, either of you may withdraw at any time if it is not working for you.
Mediation may not be the right option for you if there is a history of abuse in the relationship where either party is not comfortable speaking up for themselves, or where there is significant concern either spouse is hiding assets or not being forthcoming about their financial situation. In these situations, it may be in your best interest to hire your own attorney to represent you during the entire divorce process to ensure your rights are protected.
Mediation may be an unnecessary step if you and your spouse are already in basic agreement on all the major issues and can proceed directly to an uncontested divorce. Also, remember that child support is usually determined by a formula and is generally not subject to negotiation. Therefore it may not be an economically prudent issue to mediate.
Some of the most common issues brought up in mediation are figuring out what to do with the house, how to divide retirement (or equalize with other assets), and alimony.
What Can I Expect? Once you and your spouse have made the decision to try mediation, I will send each of you a Mediation Intake Form to complete, as well as a copy of my Mediation Guidelines. You may choose to share information, but I will need each of you to complete your own form so I can compare notes and check for any discrepancies. If you email the form to me at least three business days before your scheduled appointment time, I will review your information before we meet to help make the most efficient use of your time spent in mediation.
Please remember that if you choose to hire me as a mediator, I work for both of you and must remain completely neutral. If you are interested in mediation and contact me individually, please refrain from discussing specific details of your case with me outside the presence of your spouse.
I charge an hourly rate for mediation and prefer to work in two-hour sessions. You will pay for each session as we go, paid at the beginning of the session. If either you or your spouse becomes dissatisfied with the process at any time, you can drop out with no additional money exchanges. l also charge a flat fee for time spent preparing your formal settlement agreement after you complete mediation.
Each session will require the participation and cooperation of both spouses. In addition to discussing any issues related to your children, if applicable, we will identify and value all property and debts (both individual and joint) acquired during the marriage and discuss how they will be allocated. This process occasionally requires bringing in the assistance of a third-party expert, depending on the complexity of your situation. We will also examine the post-separation budgets of each household and discuss the possibility of spousal support/alimony (if applicable).
Once we have determined the issues that need to be resolved, you will each be given an opportunity to discuss your concerns and preferences regarding each issue. Our goal will be to satisfy the priorities of each party and resolve all issues to your mutual satisfaction.
Once we have reached an agreement on all issues, I will draft your settlement agreement. You may consult your own attorney to review the agreement before you sign it, and I strongly encourage that you do so. Once the agreement is signed, one of you will take it to an attorney of your choice and ask that he/she incorporate your agreement into an uncontested divorce.
No representation is made that the quality of services to be performed is greater than the quality of legal services performed by other lawyers.
©2010 by Jennifer McDonald. All rights reserved. Materials found at this website may be reproduced for personal use and non-commercial distribution. Copies must include this copyright statement. The information found on this website is not intended as legal advice. Consult with a qualified attorney for advice specific to your individual circumstances.
©2010 by Jennifer McDonald. All rights reserved. Materials found at this website may be reproduced for personal use and non-commercial distribution. Copies must include this copyright statement. The information found on this website is not intended as legal advice. Consult with a qualified attorney for advice specific to your individual circumstances.
